were fakin it through the air waves.
most of all the journal entries and the incoherent unacknowledged thoughts were all about you. and most of the time i waste them in fragments and incomplete sentences that youll probably never get to read. and last night i just couldnt stop thinking about the way we saw each other across the crowd. the way you tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Sayaw tayo." the way you held me close while we danced. and the way you looked at me as if we were the only ones in that gazebo dancing. i can run a few lines and tell everyone i have gotten over. but baby, that would only be a mistake. as far as i can say, as far as i can lie, i still am stuck in reverse. youll always shine brighter than anyone does.
Labels: mytruef*ckinglove
The tips of my fingers are all black and blue from bumping with this keyboard. It's the Carpal Tunnel of Love. I got the Wentz Syndrome all over me again. Writing every incoherent sentences there is, but not writing you off. I'd rather remember the way your silly jokes rolled off your tongue and the way they make my lips curl into a smile I don't usually wear. I got my nerves back. :D
Labels: Trisha Sales
The Reply
writing codes
deciphering words
midnight blues
and contrasting hues.
you keep my mind working
like Holmes when solving a case
your words are my cocaine
putting my brain cells into gear.
the droning of guitars
reverberate in my ears.
cast a spell on the midwest.
make me long for the fiery.
burn bridges then build them again
in your house built of writer's block.
stop trying to make it seem you're okay
with those plastered smiles and evident sighs
I can see not the facade
but The Boy trapped within.
and I'd still believe you haven't gotten over
when you said, "Your clothes and your pillows it never really gets clean.
Neither does your memory."
like when you've had extreme highs and lows with her.
and her having been with you for a quarter of her life.
bring back the spark.
oh please don't be/seem pretentious.
"We Can Live Like Jack and Sally."
Spilling eyes and red painted cheeks. To plastered smiles and never ending sighs. I kept at it like a ragged doll but the truth is, I’ve been failing to make everything seem okay when nothing really has been. I thought I could venture upon a world where no other soul has survived and yet here I am. I failed to shut myself in a dream because it felt like a necessity to go back to the real world even though reality seems to be taunting me almost everyday of my life.
I feel much like a middle-aged mother right now for all of the anxieties I am having. I’m not even supposed to be worrying about anything really. But I can’t help it. I need someone to reassure me that everything will turn out okay and that I won’t be along the next day.
I know it may seem like I whine a lot. But no. I’m not whining. Maybe I’m just taking the time off to express what I feel and what I think and what I dream of in the hope that someone in the other end of this computer could reassure me and make me feel like I am not alone. And also I would like to make those other people feel like they’re not the only ones who dream. This is us. The dreamers who long to feel they belong in this world. We’ll all take on the world and bring them down. We’ll go beyond what other people expect us to be. We’ll go beyond what other people expect us to do. We/It is/are never too young/early to dream big. Because I believe that every fulfilled dream starts from something small until it adds up to the biggest accomplishment you’ve ever had.
And so I leave you with this and think about what are the things you want to do this coming 2008 that you have failed to accomplish the past year. I’ll be updating my goal list this weekend and I hope I get to make my friends do the same and post it on their blogs. 
This might be my last entry for the year 2007 and I hope you have had a memorable and wonderful 2007. I know I did, despite all the struggles and obstacles I’ve had. Take the pain and troubles away and life wouldn’t be an adventure at all.
PS: I don’t really know why the title is “We Can Live Like Jack and Sally.” I guess it pops into my head every now and then and it sorta got stuck.
I watched Christy Carlson Romano's movie called
The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold. Basically it's about a figure skater named Jackie Dorsey didn't really care much about anything except for figure skating. But after an accident that led to a serious injury, she was forced to take the time off from skating. Then she meets Alex Harrison who just happens to be as stubborn as her. They meet at a beach in Los Angeles, California and here is where their story starts.
I'm not really into giving you the whole details of the movie because I'd recommend that you watch it yourselves. But watching the movie actually made me cry that I longed for the drama portrayed in the movie (being that I am an overdramatic person.) Jackie and Alex falls in love for each other. However, Jackie's dream of getting into the Olympics makes Alex think that it's just all about winning for Jackie and after that it's over. He then turns to his on and off ex girlfriend for comfort. Soon enough, Jackie founds out about the engagement between Alex and his ex girlfriend and was even surprised to find out about the planned wedding right after the Olympic Finals. This results to an unpassionate and meaningless performance at their first night in Torino, Italy. Alex confronts Jackie and asks her what was the matter and she just looked at her with tear-stained eyes saying, "There is no problem."
Jackie's father tried to convince her that it would be best for her to tell Alex exactly what she feels to resolve her troubles. She admits that she's afraid to feel the pain of rejection if ever Alex does not feel the same about her. But she fights her fear and went straight to Alex's room. However, while she was admitting her feelings, it is then revealed that Alex's fiance was the one behind the door leaving Alex not knowing that Jackie was hurting.
But soon enough, he felt like it must have been Jackie who knocked on their room since he knew Jackie always wakes up early. Before they perform their routine for the finals, Alex tells Jackie, "I am in love with you and I want to spend my whole life with you." The movie ends with a final kiss between the two.
Now why am I telling this to you? What is its importance?
Maybe it's because it hit me
real hard. The idea of two people being stubborn to one another even though they know they love each other sounded much like Jane Austen's
Pride and Prejudice. But most of all, it reminded me of Pete and Jeanae. In my mind I see that Pete and Jeanae are each other's true loves but their just both too stubborn to admit it to each other or they're too stubborn to show it to each other. I don't know. The way I've been reading Pete's words make me think like this. From the lyrics, "Last year's wishes are this year's apologies every last time I come home / I'd take my last chance to burn a bridge or two / I only keep myself this sick in the head 'coz I know how the words get you /
We're the new face of failure / Prettier and younger but not any better off / Bullet proof loneliness at best / Me and you / Setting in a honeymoon..." to the consistent mentioning of
teenage smiles and
teenage vows and the consistent use of the spelling
yr for
'your'. The puzzle just fits to me. And that girl from his journal entry last December 2006 feels like it must be Jeanae.
Call me crazy, but I do think that they're each other's ex loves and true loves till the end.
As much as it hurts for me to admit it, but I do think he might still be in love with Jeanae White.
"Best friends, ex friends till the end. Better off as lovers and not the other way around. Racing through the city, windows down in the back of yellow checkered cars..."
an empty sequel.
There was this boy who always thought he's messed up and forgotten about. He never really had an idea that he caught a princess' attention. Doing wreckless acts every now and then. Learning from his mistakes and growing up from them. There was just something about him that seemed truer than everything else. And soon enough the princess was in love.
You keep on writing about teenage smiles and teenage vows. Is it because you love her that much? You've got me really confused and envious. And right now I can't help but wish I was that girl--that doll with the black hair and smiling. I can see it now. I understand you've been talking about her all along. Ex loves and true loves. We are both in love with (being) trainwrecks.
